NLP Techniques: Reframe in 6 StepsBreak Your Bad Habits
by Laura Interval
The 6 Step Reframe is one of NLP’s popular techniques for kicking bad habits. Using this concept, you will learn to break down the habit, identify why you are doing it, and replace it with more effective behaviors of your choice. It’s all about reframing the reason you have the habit in the first place. The key is communicating with yourself, your unconscious to determine what about the habit served you and what would be a suitable replacement. NLP asks you to presuppose that every habit comes from a positive intention. The idea is that you began your behavior with good reason, and although it is now not something you want to continue, you must still be getting a positive benefit from it (often unconsciously). Therefore, you must substitute it for (or reframe it with) a different behavior that will serve you with the same benefit. You are chewing those nails for some reason. Let’s find out why. It requires a bit of imagination, creativity, some intuition and a willingness to try. 1. Identify your bad habit: Pick one behavior that you want to reframe. Make it simple “Biting my fingernails” 2. Establish a connection with the unconscious mind that is responsible for the habit: You need to communicate with yourself here . . . the part of you that is continuing with this behavior that you no longer want. You know that voice that over rides your conscious decision making skills? There are several suggested ways to do it. One popular way is to set up a signal system with yourself. Try this: Close you eyes. Ask that part of yourself, the habit holder, if you can communicate with it. Tell yourself you’d like your unconscious to signal a “no” by wiggling your left finger. Wiggle the finger just to be clear. Tell yourself you’d like to signal a “yes” by wiggling your right finger. Wiggle it to make it clear. Now, ask to confirm the signals. If you don’t get a clear signal, if you can’t tell that it’s from your subconscious, ask it to communicate louder. Note: They say this really works. I am still at the practicing stage as my signals are not all that clear. I do seem to be able to hear a “yes” or “no” clear enough though without using the signal technique. The point of talking and listening to your unconscious becomes clear just by trying this. 3. Identify why you do it: This is a brainstorming session with your unconscious. Get creative. Get instinctual. You know why you do this. What is your positive intention behind your behavior? This isn’t about other people’s judgments; this is all about you and your intentions. It doesn’t have to make sense. Just write and keep writing until you feel you’ve gotten a truthful reason. Then, circle it. “Because I’m nervous, it helps me think, I like to have something in my mouth, makes me feel relaxed, it keeps them groomed, it gives me something to focus on . . . ” 4. List at least three solutions: This is you and your subconscious getting creative with problem solving. What are other behaviors that might do the same thing for you? Even if it sounds ridiculous, write it down. The more the better. Have fun with this, be anyone you want and stretch your imagination with your answers. Don’t make judgments; there are no right or wrong answers. Write fast and outside of the box. “eating, exercising, kissing, writing, cooking, playing with kittens, playing music, chew gum, taking a shower…” 5. Choose the best of the three solutions: Close your eyes. Try each of your alternative solutions one by one. Write down the answers that you get a “yes” to. “eating, playing music, chewing gum” If you don’t have three, go back and do step 4 again. 6. Future pacing/ecology check: Now, we want to re-check the top alternative behaviors you came up with and make sure they are strong do-able options for you on all levels. By visualizing using the new behaviors, you will reinforce the new habit. So, with your positive intention in mind, close your eyes and imagine yourself in a realistic situation where you use your bad habit. Substitute the new habit – how does it feel? Listen to your unconscious. You are now asking it if there is anything else that conflicts within yourself involving this new behavior. Does it go against your “ecology”, your belief system? Use your signal system. Is there any part of you that objects with this new behavior? For example with biting your nails: “eating” may not serve as a substitute if you are watching your diet. You may need to get more specific like “eating something healthy” or “eating an apple”… If so, go back to 4 and find a new behavior. Keep doing this until you get 3 that are free and clear. So…I hear some of you saying “What??”. I know. It’s an example of an NLP technique that does work, but takes a fair amount of work to make it work. The main benefit here I think is establishing communication between your conscious and unconscious mind. Bad habits and unwanted associations live in the unconscious mind so introducing yourself will start to give you a much better understanding of why you do what you do. Practice this exercise, start learning to open this line of communication and see what you discover.
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