How to Be Happy 2Is More Less?
by Laura Interval
How much of your happiness is directly related to material possessions? Researchers have discovered that people who have too much stuff tend to be just as discontent as those people who desperately want to acquire more. So, the key to ending the “more-more” cycle seems to be understanding what you truly need and appreciating what you already have. “He who dies with the most toys wins” . . . When I saw that bumper sticker again recently, I wondered to myself – is that meant to be funny or is that the life philosophy of the owner of the pimped out BMW in front of me? I think at one time it might have been a joke, but now in the high tech jacked up cyber race to the finish society, the joke may be on us. It’s so easy to get caught up, isn’t it? Not happy with what we’ve got, we start screaming, “More, More, More… more money, more food, more things, more TOYS!” And we end up feeling exhausted, sick, overweight, angry and in debt. Want vs. Need: Sometimes the lines get blurred between what we want and what we need. In the more-more society, we tend to just need more. More is better. In which case, we begin to NEED everything. Suddenly, we need exactly what the neighbor’s have, although we never needed it before. It’s the items you buy where the biggest satisfaction is at the check out line, followed by slight disappointment or guilt when you get it home. Ever feel this way? In his new book, “Enough: Breaking Free from the World of More”, British author John Naish calls it Compulsive Acquisition Disorder. He says that the workaholics of the world are apparently working to acquire stuff they don’t need. What we should be doing is figuring out how much money we need to live on, then schedule work life to meet that goal adding 20% for comfort. Ok, being an ex acquisition disorder candidate, that sounds a bit drastic to me. But, it really does make you think. What are you working so hard to achieve? If it is tied into material possessions, it is vital that you are able to separate what you really need from what you really want. So be aware. Do you need that object(s) of your desire? Is it worth the sacrifice of your precious time and skills? Or do you already possess something at home that does the job? Do you want what you have?: Texas Tech University psychologist Jeff Larsen and Amie McKibban of Wichita State University published a study in “Psychological Science” that suggests that people can grow accustomed to their possessions and therefore derive less happiness from them. In studying undergraduates, their possessions vs. their desires, they concluded that if people can continue to want the things they have, they can achieve greater happiness. So, in essence, they’re saying that happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have, and that having what you want is not the same as wanting what you have. Happiness is in the appreciation of what you have. Knowing that what you have is what you need and feeling grateful for it. So, take stock in your possessions. Your house, your car, your clothes, your computer etc… do you still want them? In fact, if you are staring at a room full of stuff that has no purpose for you, get rid of it all. Liberating yourself from that useless clutter will give you a greater appreciation for what you’ve kept. It will also remind you the next time you’re pulling out the credit card at that check out, to ask yourself if you’re wasting your hard earned money. Take responsibility: Consider taking a media break. We like to blame advertisers, corporations, politicians etc… for society’s economic pressures and problems. And yes, they do their fair share of harm, however, it begins and ends with your choice. You can certainly make a difference in your own life, which will most assuredly have an effect in the world. Try cutting down on TV, radio, newspapers and internet for a week. It is the advertiser’s job to make you think you need what you really only want. If they are good at their job, you will go buy the product. Simple as that. You have the power to hit mute, turn it off, turn the page, whatever it takes. Avoid ads, solicitations, anything that is designed to sell to you. See if you feel more content with what you have. If you shop a lot, take some time off. Plan other activities that don’t involve shopping - go to a park, see a movie, read a book. Take a break (a month or more) from shopping for yourself. Make a wish list instead. After your break, look at the list and see if you still need what is on that list. Seek out small specialty stores that have the best of what you are looking for. Not only will you get a quality item that you need, you will be less likely to be distracted by other items you don’t need.
"It is preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, In some societies, such as Papua New Guinea, it is considered mean hearted to have more possessions than you need. It’s the givers, not the acquirers, who are honored there. Somehow it seems the “cool” status has done a flip- flop in America. But now that we know that material status does not equal happiness in a world of more, more, more . . . let’s seek to find contentment in acquiring and appreciating what we need.
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