Are You Letting Yourself Go?

by Laura Interval

If you are feeling lost right now… if you doubt your purpose and self worth on this planet . . . you are most likely discovering that your life is out of whack. Not that it just suddenly got out of balance . . . but my guess is, you are just suddenly realizing it.

It usually happens gradually. Years go by, LIFE goes by . . . we get busy. Kids, elderly parents, overworked partners/spouses depend on us to keep it all going. And we do it all, willingly. We feel it’s our responsibility, and heck, we do it all really well. We even have a career of our own . . . or at least we did. That was a few years back… but, we’ll definitely get back to that when we um, have more time.

Ah… that word… TIME. Remember when you had the time to do the things you loved to do? Remember when you used to visit with friends, go to concerts, or enjoy long dinners out? Now, it’s all play dates, birthday parties and hotdogs on the run. And that’s good because you no longer have a wardrobe that suits any other occasion. If you can’t wear sweats, you don’t go. Am I ringing any bells here?

Of course we dedicate our time to our children. It is the responsible thing to do and they need us. Of course we give our time to the others in our lives that need our help. We are proud to be mothers, daughters, wives, and solid dependable people. But, I see it over and over again. Time continues to tick, children grow up, parents pass on and seemingly before you know it, they’re gone. The problem is . . . so are you.

If you tell me you don’t have time for yourself right now . . .
I tell you that by the time you find your time,
you won’t be able to find yourself.

Don’t let that happen.

Embrace this reality:

You are a better mother, a better daughter, a better friend when you are a better YOU.

If you are not taking the time to stay in shape, to continue to learn new things, to nurture your hobbies, to embrace what makes you feel inspired, you are cheating yourself and those around you. Make no mistake. You are not being selfless to the benefit of your children. If you are not being the best you, you are devaluing yourself. And teaching your children to do the same.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not encouraging you to spend less time with your family or to shirk your responsibilities. I’m talking about balance. I am stressing to you the importance of finding the time for yourself NOW . . . and that by keeping in touch with what you need during this time, you are actually better to serve all of those around you.

If the thought of this makes you feel guilty or selfish, I want you to challenge why.
Why don’t you think you’re worth it?
Why don’t you think you deserve to be treated as well as you are treating those around you?
Do you value yourself enough to make sure you are getting what you need?

When you are strong, those around you will benefit. When you aren’t feeling good . . . it’s the same. Those around you won’t get the best you. But, do they know why?

A mistake we often make is in assuming that everyone knows that we’re giving things up. I mean, they must KNOW that we’re not doing the things we usually do… that we’re sacrificing everything. Your partner knows, for example, that you used to go to the gym every morning . . . and you used to treasure your monthly girl’s night. And now, you don’t do either. And now that you think about it, you’re feeling underappreciated.

The reality is that it’s up to you to communicate. You can’t just expect someone to know. Tell them, explain your need for balance, and take the initiative to make a change for yourself. It’s up to you. Even those closest to us can never know how we are really feeling unless we communicate it. (Especially if you are a people pleaser like me.) Assuming someone should know what you’re going through and then resenting him or her later for not, is not fair to anyone involved, including you.

You teach the people around you how to treat you by example. What are you teaching if you silently neglect yourself? Speak up . . . and get back to taking care of you. Get to know that reflection in the mirror again and don’t ever let her begin to look like a stranger.

Where to start?

Make a list of your values. Define them for yourself and who you are now. Declare what’s important to you. Take a look at the list and see what you’ve been neglecting . . . that’s a good place to start to discover why you’re feeling out of balance. Decide for yourself which compromises you can peacefully make and which will sink your ship.

Make the commitment to yourself to begin NOW. Let go of any feelings of guilt or judgment and consider this time for yourself a necessity . . . for you and those around you.

Know that it doesn’t take more than what you already have. If you can find even 1/2 hour for yourself in a day, you can begin to reconnect to what’s important to your self-image and self esteem.

Do it now. Don’t wait until you have to get to know yourself again. Know that your balance . . . your purpose on this planet . . . includes you taking care of YOU.

related articles:

How to Be Happy - Finding the Balance

Gratitude is Your Gravity

Identity Crisis


also visit:
Consistent Parenting Advice
believes that being a consistent parent is both vitally important and totally necessary to ensure a happy family life. This website addresses HOW to adopt a firm, clear, consistent parenting approach, while enabling you to enhance and increase your emotional well-being.

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