Setting Goals SuccessfullyThe Key to Super Achievement
by Laura Interval
Are you doing all you can to get what you want? Are you moving towards your goals with 100% certainty? Are you working on every level; internally and externally, to reach your declared goals? I thought I was, but I was missing one huge piece of the puzzle. I had declared my goal. I had wanted it for a very long time and I just KNEW achieving it was going to make me happy. I was doing EVERYTHING I knew to do to get there… and it was a big part of my story. Everyday I was working towards it. I had it written down and I had a step-by-step plan. Months went by, years passed, and I still had not achieved my goal. I had achieved other goals, but this one that was SO important, my top goal, remained elusive. I began to feel frustrated, I began to feel depressed and eventually I felt defeated. Was this goal setting stuff just crap… or was there a hole in my technique? Hmmm… Alas, time has given me the wisdom to understand, it was all me. And the missing piece is called congruence. From Wikipedia: An alternative definition of congruence in the work of Virginia Satir, one of the sources of NLP, is the balance between self, other and context.” Anthony Robbins explains it this way: “Every complex system, whether it’s a factory tool or a computer or a human being, has to be congruent. Its parts have to work together; every action has to support every other action if it’s to work at a peak level. If the parts of a machine try to go in two different directions at once, the machine will be out of sync and could eventually break down. I had all sorts of imbalances both internally and externally associated with achieving this goal. I feared achieving it wouldn’t be a positive change in my relationship. I wasn’t clear what it would mean to my lifestyle. I wasn’t sure the changes it would bring about would make the people around me happy. So, on a vague subconscious level, I feared what would happen if I did actually achieve it. Those little seeds of uncertainty, that little ripple of conflict, will begin to inform your actions and decisions and work against your achievement efforts. It’s like running towards the finish line with ankle weights that progressively get heavier. As the reality of the goal gets closer, you begin to slow and then stop the process to avoid the unrest. Are you congruent with your goals? Are you declaring one goal but internally wanting something else? Take some time and visualize achieving this goal: Compartmentalization can be a big red flag. If you are aiming towards a goal that you know doesn’t work with the rest of your life (your family, your beliefs etc…) but, works only in one aspect (your career, for example) you are most likely headed for turmoil. Trying to keep the goals in separate categories will only diffuse your momentum and power. Conflicts will cause you to throw obstacles onto your own path. You will take detours . . . you will operate on a subconscious level of self-sabotage. Your self-defeating goal becomes a waste of your time and your energy. Reevaluate and redefine your goals. Make sure you are congruent with the achieving them. Become aware of any conflicts and make the necessary adjustments so you can declare your intention with 100% certainty. They say the universe gives you exactly what you ask of it. In my case, I was effectively asking for about 50% of my goal . . . and that’s what I got. I’m not playing that complicated game anymore. Are you? Make sure it’s 100% . . . or not at all.
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